Go To Your Room You Lazy, Ungrateful Little Shit!

My mom has a cousin to whom she grew up with and remains very close to. We will call her Bubbles. Well I was the ringbearer at Bubble's wedding when I was a kid, and from a very young age I found her to be a very high-spirited, approachable, attractive woman. It never fails. Every single time I see Bubbles she has a smile on her face. I wouldn't doubt it if she smiled and waved to everyone she passes on the highway on her daily commute. She's just that nice! She owns her own sales consulting firm and is very intelligent and hard-working. She is about as selfless as a person could ever hope to be. I asked my mom the other day if she ever knew Bubbles to get pissed off about something. She said the honestly couldn't. She said Bubbles is just a wonderful person.

Now it's just like me to make light of any person or situation. I found it hard to believe that from all my observations about everyone I've ever met, I could not bring myself to honestly believe that one person could be as genuine, kind, and honest to everyone she meets as Bubbles manages to be. Now I mean her no disrespect in any way, because I have a deep respect for her. As hard as it is for me to imagine her doing something like this, I can't shake this image in my head of Bubbles coming home from work one day in a bad mood for the first time in her life. The smile she's been wearing since she left the house in the morning suddenly fades into a lip-curling snarl as she enters the living room and finds one of her kids that's back from college lounging on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table. I picture her beating him senseless for his disrespectful behavior and sending him to his room (despite his age) and making sure to tell him how much of an ungrateful, mooching little shit he is before once again retiring to a smile and a hot cup of cocoa. He's really not a piece of shit. He's actually very polite and smart too - I just think it's funny that, as hard as I might, I can't honestly bring myself to believe Bubbles is capable of overreacting or becoming violent in any way imaginable. Good for Bubbles!